Orphan: Favorite song?
My name:
Orphan: Favorite song?
My name:
Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
Little Johnny stooped down to lick my balls and deep dick my throbbing knob.