My jokes

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

I bought a book for my blind friend.

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.