My jokes

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

My dad went to go get milk.

Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.

My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.

The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?

I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)