Musician jokes
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.