Musician jokes
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
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Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
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What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.