Musician jokes
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.