Musician jokes
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.