Musician jokes
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!