Music jokes
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What do you call an emo who's emo?
An emo.
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
Imagine being emo.
What's God's favorite Michael Jackson song? The Earth Song. 😍😍😍
Pink Floyd + Donald Trump = Same.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
How does a rapper keep track of time?
With his rhyming watch!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
Me: September is here!
[Labor Day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2)
To WITHDRAW some BEATS.
How do rappers keep their breath fresh?
With some FRESH BEATS.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Reel
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him!
How do rappers stay cool during summer?
They throw SHADE.