Music jokes
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
You're so emo, the sun turned black.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
Who left him hanging?
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!