Music jokes
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What is Beyonce's favorite fast food chain?
dairy QUEEEEEEENNNN!
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.