Music jokes
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."