When your mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone good times
I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
murder murder suicide by police
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over? a corpse of course!
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes , I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
Do [or "Oh, do"] you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes [or "Oh, yes"], I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What's the smartest crime? 3rd degree murder.
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don't serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a coca cola a innocent sprite yelled QUICK! CALL DR PEPPER! Eventually a 7 up called Dr pepper the coca cola was fine
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby its a "choice". But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called "murder".
That one awkward moment you try to relate to batman by killing your parents.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
