Much jokes
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.