Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Octopussy.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
