Movie jokes
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
EMMETT BROWN IS FAT.