How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.