I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
Octopussy.
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
So, no head?
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
