Movie jokes

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.

Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.

She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?

A) Robert Drowney Jr.

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?

Obi-Wan Canopy

Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?

No, because it never came out...

Why did an orphan kill ET?

To phone home.

"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.

What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?