Mountain Jokes

when kobe's pilot hit the mountain he said "kobe"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche

Haw do Mountain sees They peek

You raise me up to stand on mountains said the drawf pornstar on my penis

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

Whats a book never written? Beautiful sites by a mountain, by rocky hill!

once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. one was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. they came to a cliff and the brunette said "if you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it" so the brunette jumped off and said falcon and became a falcon. the redhead jumped off and said eagle and became an eagle. the dumb blonde ran, was about to jump but tripped on a rock, and said "crap"

I am a volcano

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

why did the orphan fall of the mountain? because his parents let go.

Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".

How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous. His face was chiseled in a mountain

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"