Mountain jokes
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.