Mountain Jokes

One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.

"Who are you?"

"I am mountain man!"

Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?

His face was chiseled in a mountain.

What mountain do people like to race on?

Mount Rushmore.

Get it?

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

Why are mountains so smart?

'Cause they have a degree.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

What song does Kobe Bryant hate?

"Rocky Mountain High."

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.

Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

What do you call a hill with cows on it?

A Moo-ntain.

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!

Yo chin is so bumpy, someone said, "Is that Mt. Everest?"