Mores

Mores jokes

Hater

    • If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.

    Dwarf

    • The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

    Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

    Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

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    • Mores memes

    Self Harm

    • How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

    How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

    How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

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    • Pedophile

    • Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.

    When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."

    His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"

    Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"

    10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"

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    • School shooting

    • 1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

    2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

    3) 10 dead babies.

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    • Orphanage

    • I saw this little girl crying. I asked her where her parents were. She cried more, man, I love working at an orphanage.

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    • Asphalt

    • A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

    Loyalty

    • Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

    Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

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    • Handshake

    • What was the difference between the Federal Republic of Germany and the German Democratic Republic?

    Federal Republic: The harder you work, the more you get.

    Democratic Republic: The harder you work, the firmer the handshake and nothing else.

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    • Woman

    • My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

    She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

    "It didn't work out."

    She told me to be more specific, so I said,

    "I just told you, she didn't exercise."

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    • Titanic

    • (Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(

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    • Superman

    • A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.

    The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"

    He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."

    They eat them, jump off, and die.

    He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"

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