Mores jokes

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.

Why is hangman always done in black ink?

To make it more realistic.

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

I wish they taught 9/11 at school.

It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.

I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.

What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?

A toothbrush.

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.