Morbid Jokes

My dad brought me some sunglasses but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.

So my kid every time I walk in the door he shuts his laptop so i check his history It was good but my wife checked mine and she didn't say the same the words I head was get out.

So my kid took my car he crashed it off a bridge I miss it but it's going to have my car

Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing I always seem to get shot

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk but I could never find him

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me it comes and goes very easily

Slavery and disciplinen it's kind of the same thing you get whipped for doing the wrong thing

I told people your mom also known as mbd because you're a mega baby dispenser

So I left my mom with my baby and I was terrified when I came back in the wheelchair was in the water

So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear

I was making holy water and my girlfriend walked in saying what are you doing and I said making holy water and she said how are you making holy water I'm boiling the h#ll out of it