Morbid Jokes

at my sample place i handed my wife a fork and i lost my job

puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs

the word ginger is just the n word reorganized

Why did half of the world to go hell? Because the were laughing at morbid jokes (You've been warned)

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was retested 6 offender

i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

boss: "we have to let you go."

surgeon: "I protest innocence."

boss: "how?"

surgeon: "I thought to do your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

boss: "get out"

I've never seen my dad since September 11, I wonder where he is....

how do you start a dance party? go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold

*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*

When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”