Morbid jokes
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.