Morbid jokes
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
What does this mean? 👊🥩
pussi
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.