Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Body

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Baby

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can't fuck a rock.

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?

It depends how many bullets you have.

  • 2
  • 9/11

    Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

    Cow

    Why did the cow cross the road?

    To get to the “utter” side.

    Miscarriage

    What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

    Her miscarriage.

    Goat

    Goats are like mushrooms.

    If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.

  • 3
  • Friend

    My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.

    Channel

    This is the biggest joke ever - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5j-BH_WdBXdzeoOdG2v2dA

    Pussy

    What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?

    Putting the diaper back on.

    Nursery Rhyme

    Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.