Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller? The Joystick
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Where does bin laden keep his cd’s
In Irak
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come
When they walk in and your fucking ...everyone at the morgue
a redneck and a black man walk into a bar and order a drink
I tell a man get me a glock 19 he comes back with a glove i was about to shout at him but then i saw a pistol in his pocket so i left and thanked him
Dwarf Shortage
The bakery where I work is being robbed I said to the people I am calling the police then I realized they did not come for the money they came for the bread. Huh go figure.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied "I couldn't find any" She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know I was too busy wanking
What did the boy say to the show ? Can you please tie me.
There are 4 people ona plane while its crashing and there are only 3 parachutes theres opera, Obama a little girl and, Trump opera grabs. Parachute and says, "I'm famous i get one" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well im president of cource i get one" and obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since your the future or our generation take the last one" the little girl hugs obama and says, "Actually we can both have one Trump took my backpack"
A retired george w bush is eating a donut 7/11 and looks at it "im so happy i did that' a guy over hears the conversation and says "your happy you bought that donut. Oh haha I would be too i love donuts!" george w bush then says "oh hahaha you caught me" and then says "you must of heard me wrong i said, im so happy i did 9/11"
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft? “ A sped runner”.
I got rejected from art school today so yeah
