Morbid jokes
pornhub.com
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.