What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
Morbid Jokes
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
What did one orphan say to the other?
"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
