What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."