Morbid jokes
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"