Morbid jokes
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
My life...
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
Wanna hear a joke? You.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Dick.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.