Morbid jokes
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Ammon died.
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
This comment section is so dark, it could be Lil Huddy.
Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, they have a British accent.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.