Morbid jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joe Mama!
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11... Allahu Akbar!
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
hg is cool.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"
She said, "Sniff, yes."
Hey Gwen.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."