Morbid jokes

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

What is Juice WRLD's favorite restaurant?

Little Seizures.

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny.

What’s red and cries?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.

What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?

What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?

Billie's Jeans.

Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

What's George Floyd's favorite color? Kneeon.

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.