Morbid jokes
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
No, you!
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.