Morbid jokes
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Me, my brother, and my dad.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
pornhub.com
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.