Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your flesh was delectable & so was the rest of you.
I have something on my lip and i think I’m taller than you “Who am i”
What's the difference between a blonde and ur computer? U don't wamt ur computer to go down on u.
“Grandma, tell me a story!” I said as we huddled near the campfire “Alright,” She said “Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches.” “Where is Timmy now?” I asked Grandma pointed to the campfire.
What happens when you throw an underaged boy between two catholic priests? They fight and... You know the rest.
Why did the chicken cross the road.
to get to the retards house.
knock knock whos there
the chicken..
I hate when people leave their cars running Especially in the summer. I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
so um uh i like people who like people who like people
Guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real" I reply saying, yea it's Asa Hutchinson, lol
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian
And 6 is a cannibal
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle
I like My Women Like I Like My Chocolate.
Edible.
Man: how tall is a penguin?
Bartender: about three foot why?
Man: o shit the Bible bashing nuns I fucking hit one
Poor car
What do birds and children have in common? If you shoot them they die.
Namaste 6 feet away or I'll blow you away with this AK
I remember my grandads last words. "Are you still holding the ladder."
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Vernon's Japanese golfer joke in Harry Potter*check reddit*
katgod can you get you gf shes messing with me and im gonna hurt soon
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
