Morbid jokes
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
My chance of finding love.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
It's not a joke.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
My life, ha ha funny!
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.