Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Dyslexia

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

Kid

To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

Pussy

A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

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  • Elephant

    Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

    So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

    Syndrome

    What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

    β€œA sped runner.”

    Murder

    When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

    Pussy

    I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

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  • Frog

    Why did the frog cross the road?

    To show his gang that he had guts.

    Cow

    There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

    The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

    Surgeon

    A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.

    boss: "We have to let you go."

    surgeon: "I protest innocence."

    boss: "How?"

    surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

    boss: "Get out!"

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  • Orphan

    What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

    Well, at least one gets picked.