Morbid jokes
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
"This vacuum sucks!"
Vacuum: "Yes, I do."
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-