Morbid jokes

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!

What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.

Why can't you trust the atom? 'Cause they make up everything.

What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.

A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"

So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

Space therapist in between the e and the r.

The rapists!

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!

Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.