Morbid jokes
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.