Morbid jokes
👌neck
Your mum!
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
What do you call a bum person with a brain?
A hillbilly.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.