Morbid jokes
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
Fortnite
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.