Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

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    • What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

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    • What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?

    The dinosaur once existed.

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    • So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

    The blond because she had to ask for directions.

    I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

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    • The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!

    I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

    “Are you still holding the ladder?”

    One man's trash is another man's treasure.

    Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.

    a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion

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