Mom jokes
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Memes
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
Your mother.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-