Mom jokes

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

Your mother.

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.