Mom jokes
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM