Mom

Mom jokes

Toy

    • My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

    Penis

    • A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

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    • Yo mama

    • I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

    Virgin

    • Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

    Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

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    • Symptom

    • My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

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    • Mom memes

    Insult

    • Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

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    • Dinner

    • Son: What's for dinner tonight?

    Mom: Steak!

    Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

    Mom: HUNGER!

    Forehead

    • So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

    Prostitution

    • I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

    Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

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    • Money

    • Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

    Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

    Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

    Ice Cream machine

    • Little boy: Momma?

    Mom: Yes, my dear.

    Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

    Mom: Why!?

    Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.