Mom jokes
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Your mother.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.