Mom

Mom jokes

Homework

12 views ·

Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?

Mom: No.

Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.

Pirate

1 view ·

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

Name

1 view ·

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

Roast

1 view ·

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

Incest

86 views ·

Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

Man

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Incest

190 views ·

Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.

I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.

Math test

31 views ·

So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.

Comeback

24 views ·

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Son

11 views ·

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!