Mom jokes
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."
LOL
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."