Mom

Mom jokes

Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"

Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

My mom told me to get a job, so I did.

One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.

My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.

Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Me: (quiet)

Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.

Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

  • 1

    • Little Johnny was at home and then he went to his grandma's house. He went there to cuss so he wouldn't get in trouble, and secretly, Grandma called his momma to come pick him up.

    Momma asked what Little Johnny did, and she said he cussed and cussed and cussed. Granny had enough and called Mom again. Momma said Little Johnny was grounded for 2 weeks, and Little Johnny cussed some more. Now he grounded for 3 weeks.

    I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

  • 0

    • Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇

    👱LADY: Hi. 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: How old are you? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your mom's name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What about your dad? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell GOD? 💂LIT.BABY: (spelling) G.O.D

    If a little baby can spell GOD, what about you? Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if [you] know [that you] will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace, ignore if you are living by power. MINE: GOD 😃

    💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

    Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

    Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

    Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

    Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

    Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

    Mom: But what he did was wrong.

    Girl: I know.

    (SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

    Mom: Is that ur dad.

    Girl: Yes Mom

    Comment Part 2

    Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.

    Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.

    Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.