Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.
Mom Jokes
My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
I ate my mom.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Your mom and your dad.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Your mother.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
