Misunderstanding Jokes

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

A cartoon of Sheen from Jimmy Neutron saying, "BUT MOM IT MEANS BLACK IN SPANISH".

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"