Miss jokes
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Like if you are in high school and miss school!
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.