Miss jokes
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
Memes
Everybody does this
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
I miss Gwen.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!