Miscellaneous jokes
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Hi.
Read more.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!