Miscellaneous jokes
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
Iron Man dies.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.