Miscellaneous jokes

What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?

WiFi chips or his shoulder?

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"

The Son: "Because milk is important."

The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"

The Boy: "Who?"

The Man: "Your mom?"

The Boy: "I don't have a mom."

The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."

The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.

Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.

Look in a mirror.

F*ck my ass.

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.

So two guys walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have something to drink?"

The other says, "You wish!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLO dab on the haters - Jake Paul wreeeeecckkked.................... DABDABDABDBABABDBABDBABDBABDBDABDBsabBaDBAD,,,,,,,,,,five fo e the winners. KILL MATPAT, THE EARTH IS FLAT AND A DONUT

Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)

One time there was a squirrel who died.

It was funny because the squirrel got dead.

What do you call a three humped camel?

A prostitute from New York.

I

FCC’s

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My name is Jeff.

What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?

Arsenal can win trophies and win games.

This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.

How many babies does it take to paint a room red?

Depends how hard you throw 'em.

What do you call a gay grenade?

A fragette.