Miscellaneous jokes
I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.
iran
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
TDS? More like STDs.
Why?
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me." "What was your first impression on him?" "I told him, she calls me daddy too."
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.