So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot, then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Whats the difference between a black person and a white person
Black people dont shoot up schools
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off he looks a his son and says I didn't know back to school sales started yet.
Why did the cowboi die wit his boots on?? He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket😂😂👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
whats asian but has broken up with its girlfriend a DUMPling
Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar followed by Batman.
Science flew us to the moon. Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
me.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day he sat down and he died.
whats the diffrence between a hooker and a drug dealer a hooker can wash her crack n resell it
You're mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
yes.
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Not sally
