Miscellaneous jokes
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Balls.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Gun control...
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
I'm gay.
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
A single sentence walks into a bar.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Roses are red, Justin Bieber is gay, But most importantly, You know de way.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.