Miscellaneous jokes
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Your family.
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Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Kill yourself, hoes!
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Knock knock. Who's there? Apaches. Apaches who? Apaches on your eye.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes! Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
I find bananas very appeeling.