Miscellaneous jokes
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Yes.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
Three Jewish people walk into a bar.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
You want a joke? My entire existence.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”