Middle East jokes
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?
Not too sure. I just fly the drone.
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.