Mexico jokes
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
Top 10 Cos:
1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco
Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!
The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."
The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."
Mmm, I'm Walter McWhitey, I'm from the newest Mexico.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!