Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Metaphor Jokes
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 馃槒
If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That鈥檚 as close as they can get to dye.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They鈥檙e both hanging in the closet.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don鈥檛 know how to play chess.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.