Metaphor Jokes

What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

Life is a or like a penis. Long, free, flowimg, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard.😉

"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"