I work as an IT technician. The other day I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying “do you consent to cookies.” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means so that’s why he called me
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".
The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.
Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)
-Dark_Humor
This bitch won't message me anymore what the fuck do I do why are bitches so sensitive.
what does the sign say on the hooker house say afterwards they were on lockdown? A. We're on lockdown get lost pervert.
My name is Joe Biden and I forgot this message.
alright so i have a few orphan jokes im gonna put them all in one message.
why cant orphans be gay? they have no one to call daddy.
why cant orphans go on a field trip? parent signiture:______
new teacher: i used to be an orphan as a kid students:hahaha teacher: is anyone missing? students:no one just your parents
why did the orphan become a prostitute? they kept calling everyone daddy
why do orphans have the iphonex because it has no home button
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
I CANT BREATHE
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this. I need to talk to u guys
hi freshfry hii alex i did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brothers soccer game and then people came to are house till 11:00 lol srry :)
My wife left a note on the fridge, the note read "It's not working" I don't know what she's talking about, I opened the fridge and it worked fine!
One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
I'm bored and I'm sure someone scrolling through here is too, so wanna chat? pls
>Sell PC >Go to Croatia >Try to fly to the US to meet female >US wont let me in >End up in Norway >female leaves me >Female gets arrested by feds >Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics
Just another day in the defib life
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
i hate you- if you look at the first letters of the words you'll know what i mean interfischl happy apple tea eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says: "Clothed Until Further Notice."
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
What is mail? Boring
You know how on Snapchat hmu means hit me up? A school posted smu. Nikolas Cruz responded.
