Notification jokes

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

Most annoying thing...

When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...

Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.

Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?

I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(